If you’re searching for how to make a man fall in love with you, I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you might be on your way to falling in love with him.
Am I right?
You’re falling fast for this guy, and you can only hope that he feels the same, but how can you ensure that he is?
In this article, you’re not going to find a bunch of ways to trick a man into falling in love with you. That’s not how I operate. What you will find are strategies for how to make a man fall in love with you that I have seen work firsthand.
If you’re here for the first time, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Adam LoDolce, and I have helped thousands of women find true love. I’ve worked as a dating coach for both men and women, and I’ve spoken at dozens of universities, where every single person in the audience walked away with tangible advice they could apply to dating and relationships.
So, yea, I kinda know what I’m talking about.
But don’t take it from me! Test out as many of the following strategies as you’d like and see if they work for you in learning how to make a man fall in love with you.
Before we get started, let me just say something about patience. If you have fallen for this guy, I understand that you’re in a vulnerable place while you wait for him to catch up with you. Does he love you? Does he love you not? You’ll do anything in your power to make him love you.
And sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. Don’t blame yourself. If he doesn’t fall in love with you, it wasn’t meant to be. I bet if you step away, you’ll see a million reasons why that’s true.
But give him time. All his past relationship experiences, along with his personality, will impact how long it takes him. If you truly love him, you’ll wait.
17 Tips for How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You
Just like with all my dating and relationship advice, some of these tips on how to make a man fall in love with you may work better for you than others. You know yourself and what comes naturally, so apply the tips that make the most sense.
1. Make Him Feel Needed (But Don’t Be Needy)
Look, I know you’re an independent woman that doesn’t need a man, but the truth is…men like to feel needed. Chalk it up to our evolutionary past of being the provider and protector in the relationship. Sure, you can kill your own spiders and change your own tire, but that doesn’t mean you have to.
If you’ve been single for a while and have become accustomed to doing everything that needs doing, this may take a little practice and letting go, but the next time you have something that you know your man would excel at, ask for help.
That’s all. Just ask for help.
Not only will you give him purpose (after all, he’s trying to win your heart too, so doing something for you is huge), but you’ll also see how nice it is to lean on someone else, to rely on him to help you. It takes the load off of you for sure.
2. Let Him Miss You
I know if you’re falling for this guy, you want to spend every waking moment with him. And maybe he wants that too. But let’s ease into that 24/7 type of relationship, shall we? Or better yet…never get to it.
Having time apart is healthy for couples. It gives you each time to do things on your own or spend time with friends (don’t be that chick who abandons her friends whenever she’s in a relationship). It gives you something to talk about when you are together. Having time apart provides balance in the relationship, and it gives you both the opportunity to miss one another.
When he misses you, he thinks about you. He thinks about his feelings for you. All good things!
3. Compliment Him…Only if He Deserves It
Okay, to be clear, I am not suggesting you kiss this guy’s ass all the time.
“Oh Bobby! That shirt looks amaaazing on you.”
“Oh Bobby! You’re so strong!”
“Oh Bobby! I don’t know what I’d do without you!”
Not what we’re going for. What I do want you to do is be free with the compliments. If you’re thinking in your head that he looks hot in that shirt, tell him! I’m not sure why it is, but most of us don’t compliment other people far enough, even when we’re thinking complimentary things.
But think about how awesome you feel when someone compliments you. Why wouldn’t you want to make the guy you care so much about feel that great? So whenever something positive sprouts up in your brain about how he looks, something witty he says, or something he’s done, let him know you appreciate it.
4. Let Your True Nature Shine
I’ve heard some so-called dating gurus tell women to dumb down their intellect or put a damper on their exuberant personalities. This is utter crap. If you do that, then the guy has one impression of who you are that is entirely inaccurate. Once you get to know each other and you start being real, he might be thrown off when he discovers that, whoa, you’re actually intelligent or opinionated.
That’s right. No need to pretend your IQ isn’t off the charts, or that you’re not a control freak. Let your control or otherwise freak flag fly. That way, he knows exactly what he’s getting into from the start. If he’s into it? Great. He’ll be that much more likely to fall in love with you.
5. Admire His Masculinity
Just like men like to be needed, they also like it when you admire how masculine they are. But again, I’m not saying you need to squeeze his muscles and faint every time you see him!
Masculinity isn’t just about testosterone and muscles. It’s about treating people well, being chivalrous, and acting with honor. Like the Norman Mailer quote above says.
Real masculinity is being vulnerable and empathetic. It’s being a good partner. So whatever it means to you, let him know that you admire these qualities. If nothing else, it will start an interesting dialogue on what it means to be a man in this day and age.
6. Be Patient
I talked about the importance of being patient as part of the process of learning how to make a man fall in love with you, but I can’t say enough about it.
If you feel like you’ll explode if you don’t profess your love for him, heed this advice. Tell a friend how you feel. She’ll support you but also help you analyze whether your lovegush will be reciprocated or not. If she doesn’t feel like he’s exhibiting the signs of being in love with you yet, she’ll tell you and you can save yourself from the embarrassment of a one-sided love profession (the worst!).
I’m not saying the man always has to be the one to say “I love you” first, but you do want to give him time to process his feelings on the subject. Just think how much better it would be if, when the pronouncement does happen, regardless of who says it first, you both say it.
If you rush this, you may be disappointed. Keep that in mind.
If you’re still desperate to let someone know, journal about it. This will help you process your feelings. And it never hurts to sit on them for a while. In the early stages of a relationship, it can sometimes be difficult to discern between love and lust, so by giving your love time to marinate, you can be 100% sure that it is love before you make yourself vulnerable.
7. Let Him Know You’re Thinking of Him
I know in the early days of dating a new guy, you might try to have a poker face. After all, you aren’t sure if this is going to turn into a relationship, so you might be hesitant to tell him that you’re thinking of him.
Well, the rules have changed now that things are progressing, and it’s actually in your favor to tell him he’s on your mind. Just like with compliments, if you like it, he will too. You blush from your head to your toe whenever he tells you that he’s thinking of you, so why not reciprocate? Here are a few texts you could send to make him smile.
Saw a corgi today [his favorite dog] and it made me think of you!
Sigh. I can’t get any work done today. Just keep replaying our last date…
Just wanted to say hi, since you’re on my mind!
None of these are overboard. They’re just little pings to tell him that you’re thinking about him. They’ll make him smile, I guarantee!
8. Be Supportive of His Interests and Efforts
Look, you don’t have to suddenly feign an interest in disc golf, rock climbing, or fishing if you’re not already into them, but if your guy has hobbies or interests, one way to successfully learn how to make a man fall in love with you is to be supportive.
If he goes on a fishing trip, ask what he caught. If he’s going to the rock climbing gym, ask how his workout went. You’re not pretending you’re all about these interests; you’re just showing that you respect that he’s got things he’s into, and you’re inquiring about them.
A scientific study showed that people like people who ask questions, particularly followup questions. Followup questions show that you’re paying attention and that you’re genuinely interested. So don’t stop with simply asking him how that fishing trip went. If he tells you that he caught a tuna, ask him what fresh tuna tastes like. Ask who he went fishing with. Ask what kind of bait he uses. Especially if you don’t know a lot about his hobby, he’d be happy to teach you if you’re express curiosity.
Likewise, be supportive of what he’s doing. If you know he’s got a job interview this week, send a text beforehand letting him know you’re rooting for him, then check in with him after to see how it went. One of the foundations of a loving relationship is support; when you show your partner that you’re there for him as his biggest cheerleader, he feels great. And when you support him, you’re starting to glom onto how to make a man fall in love with you.
9. Don’t Try to Change Him
I totally love Chip…except his excessive drinking habit.
He’s completely right for me…if only he didn’t yell at waiters when they get his order wrong.
Sure, you’re going to have a few things that might get on your nerves with this guy, but they shouldn’t be dealbreakers. You can’t think that down the road you will break him of whatever annoying habit he’s got. You can never, ever change a man. Seriously.
If there are issues big enough to make you hesitate when you think about a future with this guy, he’s not right for you. Let him go. You’ll be better off in the long run.
Men who are with women who constantly make suggestions for how they could be better tend to close off from them. So pay attention to what you’re saying to him. If you’re sending him a constant barrage of “you should…” messaging, pull back, or you’ll lose him. Instead, embrace him with all his quirks. He’ll do the same with you.
10. Listen (REALLY) When He Talks
While it’s easy to talk, it’s a lot harder to listen…I mean really listen. Not half listening to your guy on the phone while you paint your toenails and browse social media.
When you put all your energy into hearing what he’s saying, you are actually listening on two levels: on the first, you’re hearing his words, but you’re also taking in what he’s communicating nonverbally. And since 60-80% of our communication is nonverbal, this is incredibly important to pick up on, especially if you want to learn how to make a man fall in love with you madly.
When he says his day is “fine,” what is his body language saying? Is he nervously fidgeting? If so, he may want to go more into his day but wants you to ask more questions. Is he sad when he talks? Dive into why with more followup. Repeat what you understand him to have said to show that you’re paying attention.
11. Show Him You Appreciate Him
Here’s another one of those tips for how to make a man fall in love with you that falls under that whole “do unto others” thing. Think about how you feel when your man brings your favorite grande quadruple shot coconut milk latte on your coffee break at work. That little gesture shows you that he cares for and appreciates you.
What can you do to show that you appreciate him?
Think about ways you can make his life easier. Maybe he’s super busy, so you pick up his dry cleaning or walk his dog.
Maybe he’s been stressed lately, so you fill the bedroom with candles and treat him to an hour-long massage.
Find ways to make him smile.
Stick a love note in his laptop bag. Bring him breakfast in bed.
Tell him thank you for no reason other than for him being his wonderful self. The more you show your appreciation, the more he’ll feel your love…and start to feel his own for you.
12. Let Him Make You Laugh
Sara scowls whenever her boyfriend Tyrone tells a joke at a party. She feels he’s trying to get too much attention for himself. Tyrone is crushed that she doesn’t think he’s funny.
Lindsay laughs so hard at Scott’s jokes that milk shoots out of her nose. She’s always introducing him as her “hilarious boyfriend.”
Which guy do you think is more likely to fall in love?
I’m not suggesting you fake laugh at all of his jokes. But if he’s funny, let him make you laugh. Having a similar sense of humor is important for a long-lasting and loving relationship. If you love that he guffaws at every one of your “that’s what she said” jokes, then reciprocate when he tells a knock-knock joke.
13. Trust Him
I know that trust doesn’t come easily if you’ve been hurt in the past. But please realize that this guy isn’t that guy. And if you want this relationship to work out, you’re going to have to trust him at some point.
Certainly, if he’s exhibiting signs that he shouldn’t be trusted, don’t ignore those. But if he’s done everything right, then let those walls around your heart down a tad.
So how do you trust him? Stop assuming you’re the only one who can do something right. Let’s say you normally do the planning for road trips, and you have one coming up with your guy. Rather than taking control, if he’s offering, put him in charge of planning it.
So what if you take a 3-hour detour to see a llama farm? The experience will be memorable. Don’t view the trip through the lens of what you would have planned but just enjoy that he put in the effort to do something for the two of you.
If the issue is him being around other women, especially if you’ve been cheated on, communicate your feelings of insecurity rather than jumping down his throat about hanging out with an old female friend from high school. Let him know that because of past experiences, it’s not easy for you to not worry about that situation. He’ll reassure you that he’s only got eyes for you, and you have to believe him rather than telling yourself that this will be another guy to hurt you.
If you have love, you have trust. You can’t have one without the other.
14. Be Independent
I have had a lot of female relationship coaching clients who, in their 20s and in their first serious relationship, pretty much gave up all friendships and interests for a guy. It wasn’t like he asked her to do it, but it’s a common thing. And when you get older, this pattern continues. If this describes you, it’s important to understand that one of the best ways to discover how to make a man fall in love with you is to be independent and keep on doing the things you love with the people you care about.
Who would you be more attracted to, a man who stopped his weekly soccer games with his buddies so he could spend every day with you…
Or the guy who kisses you before he goes to soccer practice, texts you that he’s going out for a beer afterward, and then comes back afterward to see you because he misses you?
Like I said in #2: having a little space in your relationship is healthy. And so is having things that you do on your own. Even if you just want to spend all Saturday afternoon reading by yourself, if that’s what nurtures you, that’s what’s right for the relationship. The right guy won’t have any problem with that, and in fact will be glad that you’re so independent.
Independence also means not overly relying on him. If you whine every time your grass gets tall, wanting him to do it, you’ll annoy him. There’s no reason you can’t get the mower out and mow your own grass, is there??
15. Engage Him in Intellectual Conversations
There is nothing hotter than a smart woman with an opinion. I don’t care if the media tells you otherwise; we dig it. So feel free to bring up a news article you read today to get his insight. Don’t be shy about expressing an opposing opinion. Find topics that the two of you thrive on discussing. Maybe take turns picking the subject.
Relationships can get stale when there’s no new air. Keep things constantly fresh by engaging in those intellectual conversations.
16. Don’t Be Afraid to Push Back
Again, I’ve seen dating coaches tell women to be more demure, more…soft. They tell you to agree with him. Let him make the decisions. After all, he is a MAN!
That’s bulls#^&. A man does not want a yes woman. He wants you.
So if he says he wants to see the latest bloody thriller and you hate gore, tell him. Compromise with a superhero flick.
If he says something you don’t agree with, tell him. No one said you have to have the same opinion as the man you love. If you don’t, the conversation is so much more interesting (see #15).
Pushing back is not arguing. It’s simply letting him know that you have an opinion that deserves to be honored.
17. Send Him Texts Throughout the Day
If, when you started dating, you always waited for him to initiate the texting, it’s time to change up your strategy. Nobody likes to be the only one who texts first, so make things more even by you starting half of the conversations.
They don’t even have to be conversations. A quick “Hey cutie. Thinking of you!” is enough to make him feel special and get your point across.
You might fall in love fast. He might be slow. But once you’re there, if you use these strategies for how to make a man fall in love with you, you might speed up the process for him. I’m not suggesting you do anything other than be authentic, but do be aware of how you can communicate how much he means to you, even if you’re not yet saying those three little words.
If you’ve been in a long-term relationship before, think back and ask yourself whether you did all of these tips. I’m betting not. Maybe you never thought to compliment him or appreciate his manliness. Now’s your chance to try these out with a new guy — possibly the right guy — and see what kind of wonderful results they get.
What are your tips on how to make a man fall in love with you? Share them in the comments below so other Sexy Confident members can take notes!